Let me take you back to 2018. A local television news reporter had been uncovering information about clergy sexual abuse within our diocese. As a Catholic and minister in the Church . . .

well . . .

I struggle to find the right words to adequately and justly describe the feelings I had at that time. Every word seems too mild or small to describe my emotions, the pain, and truth to accurately describe the reality.

Then the summer of 2018 revealed a whistleblower in our Catholic Center. This former assistant to the Bishop copied documents that were shared with the local television news reporter. Those documents blew the proverbial roof off the entire scandal. The levels of cover-up and corruption were beyond human imagination. That fact that this happened within the Catholic Church was beyond human comprehension.

As a minister at a local parish I had to face our people who rightly had questions. That August I was having small group meetings with 9^th graders and their parents about our new faith formation program. One of the largest news stories of the scandal had just come out. How could I face these people?

I was blessed to have connections with colleagues across the country that provided wisdom and insight for ministry during this time. Meetings began with me apologizing for the errors of the leaders of my Church. I thanked people for still staying with us. Yes we lost many people from our Church during this time. So it was very important to thank people for remaining with us.

Lay ecclesial ministers had an essential task of being the face of the Church to the people. Clergy/priests were not the people they wanted to hear from because for them the clergy represented the problem.

Youth retreats were also difficult. Young people’s greatest gift is their honesty. I could not talk with them about God and faith without acknowledging the elephant in the room – our diocese was a mess and our leaders had gravely sinned. My opening prayer for retreats changed so that I could open retreats by acknowledging and apologizing for our diocesan mess.

I recall saying, “I got my Masters in Theology for this.” often during that time. Then I would get questions like, “If my sins were forgiven by an accused priest, was the sacrament still valid?” That degree helped the people trust my answers to questions like that.

Carrying or dragging a 1,000 pound weight was a common analogy for ministry at that time. Our diocese was divided with calls for resignation of our Bishop, which did eventually happen. Every day we waited to see what corruption would be revealed next, and sadly more corruption was revealed. Too often it was worse than what we already knew.

Currently we’re living in the Covid pandemic which carries its own stresses. In early March 2020 I prayed that Covid would not touch the eight counties of our diocese because we were already exhausted. Our diocese had just filed Chapter 11 (bankruptcy) on February 27, 2020. I recall the members of our local Ministerium agreeing with my prayer – living in Buffalo they understood the stress Catholic ministers had.

Anyone who ministered in the Catholic Church in the diocese of Buffalo from 2018 to the present time deserves recognition and gratitude. With the pandemic the experiences of that time were overshadowed by the new crisis.

If you were/are a minister in our diocese, THANK YOU!!!! Thank you for loving God enough to accompany the people of God.

If you are a practicing Catholic, Thank You for staying with our faith community. I pray we can rebuild the post-pandemic Church together.

If you have left the Church, Thank You for being with us. I respectfully ask for your prayers as we try to become the Church Jesus meant us to be.

Our Church is made of human beings, and human beings make messes. In Buffalo the mess is unbelievable, yet ministry continues. For me the Catholic Church is proof of the existence of God. Despite how badly human beings mess it up, the Catholic Church continues. May the Spirit continue to guide her stumbling feet.